A Wife in Exile
Billy Hunley was not the kind of woman you would notice right away. Quiet, unassuming, married to an intimidating man named Richard who had no spiritual interest whatsoever. Richard was a great big guy who worked on cars. And as a kid hanging around their house, I just steered clear of him. Billy was the only spiritual influence my best friend Matt and his brother Jason ever had. She hauled them to church, hauled them to Vacation Bible School, and prayed faithfully. Billy told me not long ago that every day she prays for me too, the kid who once hung around her house. That has probably been true for thirty years.
My other best friend growing up was Brian Woodbury. His mom Linda was the same story. Married to Larry, who had no spiritual interest and gave the kids nothing spiritually. Everything Brian and his siblings knew about Jesus came from Linda—home devotions, prayer, church involvement. Linda did all of it.
Between those two families, there are now five adult children. All five believers. All five serving in local churches. All five raising grandchildren in the faith. And the husbands, both Richard and Larry, men who showed zero spiritual interest all the years I knew them, came to faith in Jesus Christ later in life. They became involved in a local church and went to heaven when they died. To what do you attribute that? It was two faithful women, living out their Christianity year after year, who God used to bring their husbands to saving faith.
Her Mission Field is at Home
The apostle Peter writes to Christians scattered across Asia Minor who were living in spiritual exile, some living in close relationships where their faith created real conflict. He had already addressed how to live as a citizen under a hostile government and how to live as an employee under an employer who has no regard for your Christianity. But now he gets to the hardest relationship of all: marriage.
You can go home from work at the end of a hard day. But in marriage, you wake up next to that person every single day. There is no getting away from the spiritual conflict when you are a person of faith and your spouse is not. Peter writes in 1 Peter 3:1-2: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Peter declares that the marriage itself is the mission field. Paul affirms the same in 1 Corinthians 7:16: “For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?” The concern of the apostles is the eternal state of that spouse. The opportunity that a believing wife has with a husband who cannot get away from her Christianity is a real one.
Won Over Without a Word
Notice what Peter says: a wife can win her husband without a word. That does not mean a husband becomes a Christian without ever hearing the gospel. It means the character of her life empowers the claims she is already making. A wife who is gentle and respectful is attractive even to an unbelieving husband. Give any man a choice between a wife like that and a combative, conflict-ridden wife, and I do not know a single guy who would choose the second option. There is a beauty to a wife living according to the blueprint God designed and it speaks even before a word is spoken. Peter also points to respectful and pure conduct, although her witness is not perfection. No wife is going to live perfectly and thinking she must be perfect to be a witness is a mistake. The encouragement to wives is to orient your life observably pointed toward the things of God.
Can You Deny It in Her Life?
Maybe you went to church when you were younger because your mom asked you to come. I want you to think about her. That woman who came to mind when you read that. She has prayed for you. She has loved you. You have watched her live it out, maybe from the time you were a child. Her biggest desire is for you to know her Savior. You may have doubts about Christianity in general. But can you deny it in her life?
I once stood at the bedside of a dying man who had spent his entire life resistant to the gospel. His wife sat quietly on the other side of the bed, holding his hand just as she always had. I told him he could not deny Christianity because he had seen it lived out in her for decades. His face softened. He looked at her and said, “Yep. You’re right. She’s one fine cookie.” That woman—a wife in exile—like so many others, lived out her faith year after year, decade after decade, and on his deathbed, her husband could not deny it. When you look at her life, neither can you.
